Thursday, October 11, 2018

Letterboxd: Commando

Commando represents the moment the Austrian body-builder famous for Conan The Barbarian finally said it's time to start talking!

Schwarzenegger must've been emboldened by the success of The Terminator, where stilted line readings enhanced his android assassin, but somebody was clearly nervous, as Commando frequently plays like a concept album set to an incidental film.

Composer James Horner seemingly scrambles to fill run time, mixing genres in a madcap flurry of Caribbean steel drums, Asian flutes, and classic eighties neo-noir sax. The soundtrack rarely lets up.
Each musical style takes turns stomping on a conventional score, occasionally double-teaming a puny bass line, or snapping the neck of something that may or may not have been orchestral. The unusual soundtrack succeeds in relieving pressure from simple scenes that won't otherwise be rescued by snappy dialogue. Occasionally, it gets a little too nutty for its own good, pulling focus in a flurry of horns and percussion. Think sax man Bill Pullman in Lost Highway.

I've found myself revisiting much of the Schwarzenegger oeuvre over the last couple of years, and I've started to see past the inflections of beloved impersonation, to notice his performance has evolved far less than I'd imagined.

In the case of Commando, it becomes increasingly clear pieces of this script will follow Arnold throughout the rest of his career. The one-liners aren't as sharp or frequent as they'll eventually become, but the catchphrases are all here, from "I'll be back" to liberal utterings of "DO IT". Scenes of mall rage and the recruitment of a hapless female cohort will be reprised to greater effect in movies like The Running Man, True Lies, and Jingle All The Way.

The story of a South American dictator's effort to blackmail uber-soldier John Matrix is almost irrelevant. Familiar face Alyssa Milano (Who's The Boss?) survives a barrage of cackling, creating enough of a father-daughter dynamic in opening scenes to keep things rolling with the sub-plot of her kidnapping. The first act twist is merely a means to beginning Arnold's rampage of crazed revenge, urban destruction, and inflicted Stockholm syndrome.

Rae Dawn Chong is surprisingly convincing as Cindy, a petite off duty stewardess with a junior pilot's license. Her flip from fear to affection for the troubled one-man army (Matrix) is a little abrupt, but her arc to becoming a rocket launching badass in-the-making lends fun to the mayhem. David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors) is a uniquely effective foil as the sleazy merc' who sexually harasses Cindy all the way to the parking garage. His comeuppance initiates the action and brings our heroes together.

Australian Vernon Wells is much less convincing as the ex-army buddy gone mercenary, and John Matrix' ultimate arch-rival. The tough talk falls short of wide-eyed menace, mincing ineffectively in a chainmail tank top he must've borrowed from Mad Max 2. The inadequacies of the character may very well be by design, signalling a countdown to his inevitable death. It all gets a little Home Alone when he's reduced to chasing an escaped Jenny (Milano). His final fight delivers more bite than the silly talk might have led you to expect.

For fans of eighties explosions and Arnold's less sci-fi fare - Commando will hold a special place in the canon. Otherwise, it's a mostly middling effort, playing catch-up with Rambo, and destined to be outmoded by future refinements of the Schwarzenegger formula. Franchise fans may have fun imagining it somehow fits into the backstory of Predator.


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